There aren’t a lot of good single men left living in New York City. It seems like that’s what everyone keeps telling us. And when Deanna* moved into the city late 2021 she was the first to determine if there was any truth to the statement. Single after her long-time boyfriend broke up with her on Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. At the same time when a private Facebook community known as Is we Dating the Same Guy NYC was launched as a must-follow. The group had an intense prescreen survey as well as guidelines for community members that created a barrier for entry. The group was at 43,000 active members. Deanna was interested, so she joined.
The community
The group was formed with the specific goal of helping women confirm whether they were dating the wrong people-was founded in the month of March 2022. Every major US city has a similar organization today and the rules for all are simple: Everyone is allowed to post anonymously, with no restrictions on doxxing or posting sensitive information and in no case can screenshots be deleted from the group. There is no bullies, no victim-blaming or hateful remarks. Never tell a man he’s been listed in the group. Following the scandal the scandal of West Elm Caleb, an individual with whom many women in New York shared negative dating experiences and linked the dots online, it became apparent that lots of women were in the market to seek out people like him.Read here datingfortodaysman.com At our site According to one TikTok user commented during the day This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.
This is essentially what the group had turned into in the year Deanna joined. Each edition of Are We Dating the Same Guy serves as a catchall area for women seeking advice about their relationships or give advice to men who they’ve had bad experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is, it’s the act of contacting other women to lure them through social media is also a trend. It’s not difficult to slip into a rabbit in the midst of screen-shot Hinge profiles, tales of hookups that didn’t work, and memes of the flaws of modern day dating. The most well-known posts contain photos that show a man wearing his name asking whether anyone has met or dated the person in question. Emojis of the red flag are a frequent glimpse on uninspiring but ominous messages warning users of an ex-partner or bad relationship of a bad date, usually with a downward arrow and ominous words See comments for more info.
The popularity of online dating has been a major factor in our choices in recent years the last few years, with one research finding that nearly 39 percent of heterosexual couples have met their partner online. It’s only natural that the social element of romance should be modified to fit the current digital age. Instead of having a conversation with small groups of acquaintances in a bar, or sharing stories with colleagues, we’re seeking the counsel of 43,000 women going through similar-and in some cases, the exact same-experiences.
It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie A group member. Not to say there aren’t advantages however it was helpful for me in terms of changing my perception of dating. It’s certainly not a battle to other females, rather it is holding men to a much higher level than I was before.
It’s not lost on me, however, that the kind of behavior which is encouraged and supported in Are We the Dating the Same Guy can be to be considered a red flag by potential suitors. Images, the details of private conversations, and screenshots posted without the consent of the other party or knowledge are a plethora of. The public is able to search social media profiles on a regular basis. In fact, it’s very easy for a date to get placed in the spotlight. Even though Deanna likes being a part of the group, she’s got some reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she states. But I’m afraid you’ll get into a situation where it’s a echo chamber of ‘Men have kept pushing us for so long and now we’re going to give it right back.
We are still an unjust society
We still live in an oppressive society. Until we’re truly equal and equal, online interactions will generate different reactions based on the culture of each individual. However, can a group of this kind really offer vigilante empowerment on one side of the coin and indecent outrage on the contrary? Are We Dating the Same Guy? is hyperlocal and inter-personal, but only for those who live and date in the area the group is based in. The women and people they blog about could be your neighbor or coworker, friend, relatives, or even the most recently Hinge match. There’s also a depersonalization that occurs when operating on the internet, making the whole experience feel like the game. It’s no stretch for me to say this is in opposition on the dates that are part of both groups. This is particularly true when the details of private chats, private messages or even photos are made public without their approval or consent. Sometimes, it’s to provide entertainment.